Indeed, you’re supposed to love your family with all your heart. Your connection with your loved ones should be this solid bond that nothing in the world can break or come between.
But the thing is, there are times when you have to distance yourself from certain family members, even if you have to go as far as cutting them off in an indefinite way. And you have to know it’s okay.
Seriously, you shouldn’t for any reason compromise your emotional, physical or mental health for the sake of tolerating a toxic loved one.
Hold up a minute. Don’t just assume a loved one to be toxic if you don’t fully understand and recognise of a toxic person.
So before you start distancing yourself from Uncle Mark and those cousins of yours, here are some signs of a toxic person:
1- They feed off drama
Toxic loved ones enjoy it when other family members are having a go at each other. They love to sit there and take it all in with radical amazement. And then they talk about it afterwards.
Sometimes when you tell something personal to a loved one and seek their advice, you’ll feel like you’ve shared a special moment with them, and you’ll think they’ll keep it between you and them.
But then, before you know it, everyone in the family knows about your personal life. Including your distant cousins in Africa who had no idea even existed.
2- They’re judgmental
They Judge, like insanely much. Of course, constructive criticism is welcome and in its even labelled healthy. But when it becomes a persistent, and unwarranted criticism, it becomes very annoying and frustrating. It can also deteriorate anybody’s self-esteem.
3. They Gaslight you
If ever any of your loved ones continually claim that they never snitched or said anything about you, when indeed you and just about everyone is aware that they did. It might not appear that serious after all.
But, this is a form of gaslighting, and it is highly and emotionally an abusive behaviour.
4. You’ll notice them coming to you only when they need something
Many times, they will come to you for advice and emotional or sometimes even financial support. But the moment you turn to them for help, they cunningly dismiss your need and often hold your personal information against you.
5. There’s a flip between positive and negative reinforcement
Sometimes they can come at you, yell, lash out and even insult you. But that doesn’t mean you should always ignore such attacks. Because once you do, they’ll likely coax you back into their trap by making it look like they offered you praise and support.
Most times, these positive interactions are mostly short-lived before the individual returns to their typical and somewhat manipulative behaviour.
So if you find any of your loved ones displaying any of these toxic symptoms, such as abusive behaviour, they’re putting your mental health in jeopardy.
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