10 Ways To Move On From A Failed Relationship

No one really wishes to get a heartbreak in exchange for love, in a relationship. But the fact that things go sideways cannot be evaded.

Life is full of spontaneous experiences, some fair, others not. And while little or nothing can be done about such experiences, you can consciously choose how you respond to them.

The secret to emotional stability has always been to leverage an ugly experience for personal development and transformation.

So, it will be really helpful that you quit self-pity and allow your experiences to make you, instead of break you.

Below are ten clear and practical ways to move on from a failed relationship, and they are in no particular order:

1- Severe ties with your Ex 

Keeping contacts with your Ex will, in most cases, not help matters. Of course, you could decide there'll be no communication, but the presence of a means to communicate will keep you wanting to revisit your sorry past. Which is certainly not what you want, especially after all that has happened.

I know this is hard, but you need to terminate everything that links you with and to this person, at least for the time being.  This includes social media contacts, emails, and other means of communication.

This way, you are able to rationally think and navigate decisions, accept the reality for what it is, and ultimately have all the space you need to move on.

Again, this won't be easy, no doubt. But it is a sacrifice you need to make for yourself once and for all. 

2- Declutter your space

A break-up is often followed by emotional clutters, jumbled feelings, and a distorted mindset. Pulling through this may require you to trim out the weeds. The weeds are anything and anyone that you think you do not need around you any longer.

It could be your overflowing contact list, gatherings you think are not of help to you, social media connections, and many more.

It could even be rearranging your room in a new shape and throwing out materials that no longer serve your need.

The thing about decluttering is, it helps you free things up and refreshes your mind. And the refreshing of your mind means a mental disengagement from the past - the failed relationship.

3- Spend time with friends & family

Secrecy is the fuel of depression. Resorting to solitude after a breakup will keep you trapped in an endless cycle of self-pity.

Hey, hangout! Go to the cinema, if you can, see a movie! Chat with your friends and families. Nobody can be so bad that there will not be, at least, a single person left to watch their back when the going gets tough.

Treasure the presence of the friends and families that you have around, and ensure that you spend quality time with and around them. This way, you will be having a nice time and with time, moving on.

4- Relax

Did you hear that? Yes, please relax. Life's full of too many hassles already, and you cannot afford to be bogged down by another.

What has happened has happened. Quit blaming yourself and thinking you're not deserving of love. You are! It's time for you to take time, release all the tensions, and actually relax.

For me, having a whole burger to myself, writing, and discussing politics, are my ways of relaxing. Whatever yours are, do them. By doing what makes you feel relaxed, you will loosen up and move on with your life.

5- Invest in your personal growth

Personal growth is everything, and it is worth every sweat. Investing in your personal growth is another great way by which you can move on from a failed relationship.

Except you are complacent or a mediocre, which I trust you are not, you should not be satisfied with where you presently are, as a person. You only need introspection to realize the many areas of your life where you need to grow and be better.

Instead of sulking and crying, it will be far better and profitable, on the long haul, if you transfer your attention to your personal growth.

Register for a language class, learn to play a musical instrument, read good books, do physical exercise, listen to podcasts, learn new words, e.t.c.

Once you migrate your attention from the breakup to personal growth, you not only outgrow the pains, you also earn the big gains that accompany personal development.

6- Engage your passion

Whatever it is that you love to do, replace it with the brunts of the failed relationship in your heart. You can leverage your pains and make gains out of them.

If you love to write, now may be the best time to intensify and write more and better. You could even write a book.

The process of engaging your passion will naturally evaporate the past from your heart. So, do what you love!

7- Help people

Life becomes a lot beautiful when we render help to people who need it, whenever we can. Depression is the natural result of a failed relationship, and this narrative is changeable when you help others.

You don't need a million dollars to do that, neither do you need to have a mega business.

You only need to have a heart of service, and with that, you will know you can serve people with whatever you have.

It could be volunteering for the Red Cross Society, a teen blog, anything good. It shouldn't take long for you to get over the breakup.

8- Set priorities

You should learn to prioritize. And the thing about prioritizing is that it helps you ask the hard questions. What do you want to achieve in life? How will you achieve it? What do you need to do to achieve it? What matters to you most?

When you identify what matters to you in life, and strive to achieve it, you'll not be swept away by random tides.  Because you know where you're going.

The point is, knowing what matters to you, which, of course, can't be a failed relationship, will help you focus on the right thing(s).

9- Meet new people

Connecting with new people can also be a way of moving on with life after a breakup. Take a shower, go out, and meet new folks. Everybody cannot be like your ex, so mingle, and get over it.

10- Forgive your Ex

This is probably the hardest point to put up with, but things will not get better with you unless you forgive your Ex.

They've done what they've done, and that's it. Release them from the dark part of your heart where you've kept them.

Bitterness will help no one. And when you're bitter and unforgiving, it's like drinking poison and expecting your offender to die. No, it is you who will die, eventually.

Just believe the breakup happened for a reason that will help you, maybe not soon, but later. Your mental energy is too precious to be expended on an offender from the past.

Forgive, and move on!

Conclusion

Like I earlier said, experiences may happen out of control, but you definitely can control your own response. Choose to move on anyway. See you at the top!